Our idea for a poster, based on a 1950s tourist poster, to put off potential immigrants |
It's a task to which the British temperament is uniquely suited: a campaign to sell Britain short. With a year to go before the UK's current migration restrictions on Bulgarian and Romanian people are lifted, government ministers are considering mounting an advertising campaign in both countries to highlight the downsides of life in Britain, with a view to discouraging any would-be immigrants.
No one, it seems, can predict – or even vaguely estimate – what proportion of the 29 million Bulgarian and Romanian citizens might drop in once they are free to do so, but one unnamed minister suggested that a bit of negative advertising might at least "correct the impression that the streets here are paved with gold".
One of the major difficulties a campaign trumpeting the nation's less attractive qualities faces is the need to counteract decades of expensive tourist initiatives portraying Britain as both welcoming and worth a visit. The easy part is, it's easy. As lovely as this place is, once you start listing reasons not to come to Britain, it's hard to stop:
▶ England – Since the Drought, It Hasn't Stopped Raining.
▶ Come to the 2013 European Capital of Obesity. It's Contagious!
▶ The Streets Aren't Paved With Gold, Even Under All the Vomit.
▶ If You're Coming With an HMV Voucher, You're Too Late.
▶ Britain: We Just Made the Citizenship Test Really Hard.
▶ Devon: It's Like Venice, But Without Any Gondolas or Bridges.
▶ The Great British Countryside: Soon to Be Blighted By High Speed Rail.
▶ The United Kingdom: If You Think This Queue's Long, You Should See the One to Get Out.
▶ Recession-wise, We've Only Just Got Started.
▶ Scotland: Where the Benefits of a Mediterranean Diet Become Apparent Through Stark Contrast.
▶ Britain Gives You Cancer.
▶ If We Knew You Were Coming, We'd Have Built Some Housing, Maintained Our Infrastructure and Restarted Our Economy.
▶ The Quaint Pubs You See in Travel Supplements Are All Tesco Metros Now.
▶ It's Really Not Like Downton Abbey At All – But Come Dine With Me Is Terrifyingly Accurate.
▶ The English Riviera, Land of Cruel Irony.
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